I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
