Sponge bath it is.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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