We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
