Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
