are you so shy because you have an std?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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