Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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