drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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