i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize