you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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