He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
