3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am full of burrito and curiosity
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
