Plan B is the new Plan A
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The adults are the big ones right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
