I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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