please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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