well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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