Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
