i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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