How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
