My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I love you. Go after that dick
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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