Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
