It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
