...so i touched it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
