his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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