You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
