I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
