I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm too high and old for this...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
