i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize