i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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