I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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