Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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