I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
In America we eat man semen.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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