now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
