There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There r osticjed everywhere
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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