That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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