even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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