You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
