I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
