it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
