Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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