roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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