I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
