I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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