Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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