I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
