I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
