Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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