y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
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We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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