So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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