I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
