I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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