I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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