I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
