No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize