All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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