who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
