Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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