and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
