Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize