Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
