he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
