I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
