Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize