Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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