U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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